June 2012
12 posts
1 tag
One month later...
honestly with everything going on i just didn’t have the time to write. however, i believe it to be helpful. When i dwell on the thoughts of reuben nothing good came of it. Panic attacks, chest pain, sorrow, weeping, sobbing…well you get the point. Zach was amazing, he helped me a lot in those first few weeks. even though he wasn’t physically here he sent me messages on Skype....
day 10 (that night)
Well today was a let down again. I told sam id see her tomorrow and it could be storming again. But i can’t ditch her. Austin never showed up or even texted me so i sat around waiting for him. I went and bought paint to re paint my room blue. I went on Facebook and i couldn’t believe it. Sam is having a grad party and guess who wasn’t invited…again. Im not invited to social...
day 10
so today hasn’t gone so well so far. Austin is nowhere to be found. It started storming out of nowhere and just as i was getting scared…zach texts me “Its okay Pooneh, don’t be scared. <3” it honestly left me speechless. reuben is in austin for orientation. i hope he’s safe inside. Im scared under the covers as usual. Im trying to tune it out with the tv and...
day 9
so another day getting through everything. I hung out with my friend zach. It was a lot more fun than i thought:) he was a lot of fun! he took me to this great place for lunch! we hung out with friends and it was great! zach is so nice :p honestly it felt weird not being insulted all the time. Im surprised he only lives like 10 minutes from me! but he’s leaving for Columbia thursday so we...
If i can message you, just to talk, reblog this.
day 8
so this morning i felt horrible. Kinda just wondering why i had to wake up. I dreamt tyler was back from the military and i told him how reuben and i broke up and he hugged me and said I’m so sorry. The weird thing is his mom called giving me the address to send him letters so I’m going to write to him soon. The pains in my chest are getting worse. Breathing and talking feel like so...
day 7 (random thought)
You know what i think when i see a guy? Its not “omg get in my pants!” or “have my babies forever!”. heres what comes to my mind:
I want to treat him like he’s my king. I want be there at any moment he needs me around. When he gets lonely he can call me at even 2 am and i will be there to keep him company. When he’s had a hard day i make him his favorite...
Day 7 (mid day)
umm so i have some crazy news. Ive been having some pretty serious chefs pains lately but i thought it was just natural pain because of the break up. But even when i didn’t feel like i missed him, the pains were still there. When i get up from sitting down my eyes go black. For a few nights lately i have had a really hard time breathing. i called my doctor and we have no insurance so i just...
Day 7
So last night was a blast. Austin ( one of his friends) called me and said he wanted to hang out! We went to 2 hookah bars! he told me he was going to introduce me to his friends so i can get over reuben! We laughed together for a couple hours, like we’ve been friends for ages, then his friend max called sand we met him at another hookah bar. It was awesome. Max was really really cute and we...
day 6
alright last night i went to S4 with my friend. it was fun until i realized how alone i really was. i went home very sad. I asked a friend of his who’s going to a party with him to ask him if he misses me at all. I posted pictures from the club on Facebook and i guess it made me feel a little better but not by much. I called my cousin and mom and nothing new happened. i feel sick and close...
Day 5
Just getting up and getting ready to chill with some of his friends. Im excited to finally put on makeup and get dressed. Last night i had this dream that there was like a fake prom. Since he broke up with me he was with his best friend wesley. I went by myself. Hair done and makeup too. I found this fill in the blank game while waiting with everyone and it was the lion kings Can You Feel the Love...
day 4 (that night)
alright, another full day of no crying. So I’m definitely going to canada for idk how long. Im not coming back until I have gotten the old me back. The one that went into hiding once i started dating him. my personality is going to overhauled. the funny thing is i still of course think about him when i do its mostly….well, just us in bed together. its honestly so strange. i start to...
